The Haunted Farm/Superheros...a HYBRID Story!!
by Link and Luigi
Summary: The 20000th visitor to our site requested a story that included Ken's FARM and the Digidestined (included 03...sigh) as SUPERHEROES!! So we wrote it. YAY!!!


Superheroes/Haunted Farm 2

Superheroes/Haunted Farm 2!!

A Hybrid Story (HAHAHAHA PUN INTENDED)

****

This story is for Alleycat who was our 20000th visitor HURRAH!! She requested all of the Digidestined (including the 03 ones and the psychotic girl with the puppet) as super heroes in Ken's farm. So that means that we've just decided to take all of the originals that we all know and love and make them their 02 ages just so they're not adults.

Oh and as a minor note…Since I've seen a total of five Digimon 03 episodes, I'm going to give what I think is correct personalities for the characters.

We've concluded that that teacher IS Kari (but let's just pretend she's not) and the psychotic girl with the puppet is Izzy's daughter (and everyone is going to pretend as though she isn't) and Takato's friend who looks like Jyou Jr. IS Jyou Jr.!! (same with him) AND THE ANNOUNCER IS…READY FOR THIS?!?! DAVIS!!!! Betcha didn't know that. Sorry, that was just a random note and now we're going to start.

But first, before we start, I would just like to say that if you don't know their super hero forms that we created for them, you can go here to find out: http://linkandluigi.freehosting.net/superheroes.html

One day, Tai, Matt, Izzy, Mimi, Sora, Davis, Yolei, Cody, TK, Kari, Ken, Takato, Henry, Rika, Jeri and Jyou (*GASP!!*) were walking along in a pleasant Amish village. They were all wearing prodigious little colonial outfits just for strange and slightly odd fun.

"So tell me again, Ken, why we're going back to your farm with the evil cows and chickens and that…that…that thing?!" Henry asked. Everyone turned around and stared at him.

"So tell me again, Ken, why we're going back to your farm with the evil cows and chickens and that thing that the 03 kids haven't seen yet…including Henry…" Said Davis.

"Well…!" started Ken as if he had an intelligent answer but then he stopped and started thinkin'. "I really can't answer you there."

"Even more puzzling than the question 'Why is Ken going back?' is the question, 'Why are we coming with him?'" said Izzy. "I, for one, can remember my experience there being ever so…not fun…"

Everyone started as if they had an intelligent response but they all stopped simultaneously and pondered.

"It can't be as horrible as you're making it out to be." Said Takato. Just as he said that, they approached the farm and a bolt of lightning cracked and gave it just the right touch.

"We better hurry, it's starting to rain!" said Jeri.

"No, that's just there to scare you." said TK.

"I'm not afraid of the rain." Said Rika knavishly.

"I never said you were afraid of the rain." TK said, kind of confused.

"I'm not, of course, because I am the Digimon Queen." Rika said.

"And I'm the Digimon Princess!" Mimi said out of nowhere.

"And I am the Digimon Emperor!" Ken finished. Then he paused. "Or… I WAS but I don't really like being reminded of that but I felt it all to appropriate."

"Well in that case, I'm the Digimon KING," said Tai randomly.

"Well I am THE King." Said Chantecleir. Everyone looked at him just as the sun came up. Everyone gasped.

"It's comin' up without 'im!!" said Cody, in shock.

"You're a phoney!!" said Yolei, pointing at Chantecleir who was a rooster. Chantecleir got so depressed that he ran away to become a rock star and dyed his little doodle red thing black and he forgot how to crow. Hopefully, he'll return later to fight off the evil owls who sing about running out of batteries.

Then the sun set again.

And then the owls came out!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! These owls were really big and large and were wearing clothes and monocles and at this point, everyone's flashlight batteries exploded.

"They're running out, they're running out, they're running out of batterIES!!" sang the retarded owls as everyone quickly put new batteries in their flashlights. "AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!! NO BATTERIES!!" So then everyone forgot about their flashlights and ran into the farm house because they'd rather fight off evil cows and chickens than evil owls that SANG!! They were sorry for ever making fun of Chantecleir.

Everyone looked around but didn't see any evil cows, evil chickens OR evil owls. "We never DID find the Phonics Game in the farm!!" declared Kari like a stupid little knave.

"Let's go find it!!" yelled Sora as Mimi, Sora and Kari ran off in search of the Phonics Game. (Yes, I know, they ARE gone aren't they?)

"I was last to say something," Matt observed.

"I don't see any evil cows or chickens." Said Ken. "Or any signs of the existence of evil cows or chickens. Or any cows and chickens at all."

"And that's…a bad thing?" asked TK. All of a sudden, a giant transparent floating head whose mouth doesn't move appeared out of nowhere and just hovered there looking retarded.

"To pass me you must answer these questions three!" said the retarded head.

"That's not how it goes…" said Cody.

"What the hell?!" demanded Matt.

Rika did not look impressed. "Very cute." She said with a scoff. The head paused for a second and then started foaming at the mouth.

"YOU RUINED MY BIG ENTRANCE!!!" yelled the head as a trapdoor opened up underneath Matt, Cody and Rika and they plunged to their doom but didn't thankfully didn't die. Except for Rika, we are UNthankful that she survived. "THERE!!!" said the head. "You must answer the question and write it down on this little chalkboard thingy!!" Then little chalkboards appeared in everyone's hand. "You must answer within the five seconds or you automatically lose!! Okay, here are my questions!!!!!!!! What is 34 multiplied by seven!!"

He paused for about a second as Izzy and Ken both easily wrote down the answers. The head didn't notice that Henry had quickly glanced at Izzy's paper. Then he said "TIME'S UP!!!" before most people had enough time to even write the problem down.

"That wasn't five seconds!!" yelled Yolei.

"I didn't get a chance to write the question down!!" yelled TK.

"Could you repeat the question?" asked Jeri through her puppet. The head paused again and then started foaming…AGAIN. Then he opened up three more trap doors underneath TK, Yolei and Jeri and they plunged to their doom and DID die! BWA HA HA HA HA!! Just kidding. They really didn't die.

Then the head looked back at the remaining six people and instructed them to hold up their chalkboards. Izzy, Ken and Henry all had the correct answers but Tai, Davis and Takato had frantically written something down while the head was distracted with Yolei, TK and Jeri.

"LOSERS!!!!" yelled the head as three more trap doors opened up underneath the leaders of each season, leaving Izzy, Ken and Henry standing there alone. Then he head looked around shrugged and then left, his visit being utterly pointless other than to just get everyone in different groups.

"Well that was sure interesting." Said Ken, looking around.

They were in a room that looked like a white sock would look under a black light. There were little florescent worm/slug type things climbing up the walls, eyeballs that just kinda blinked at them and the whole area they were in seemed to be in the shape of a hamster maze. Every now and then, they'd hear an eerie laugh that echoed.

"This is a part of your farm I didn't know about Ken." Said Izzy as he walked up to a slug thing and touched it. It shrieked high and shrill and retracted to about 1/10 it's original size. Izzy jumped back quickly and wondered what had possessed him to TOUCH it.

Henry was speechless. "I just copied your answers." He squeaked. So I guess he wasn't REALLY speechless. : 0

MEANWHILE!!!

Matt, Rika and Cody were in an enclosed BOX-like room with a single chicken in the middle that was just kinda sitting there. It wasn't exactly EVIL but it WAS creepy.

"I say we eat it." Said Matt.

"Gross." Said Rika as she scoffed at Matt and remained isolated from the other two.

"Calm down…I was JUST kidding…" Matt replied.

"What did we do?!" asked Cody randomly.

"Cody…we've already told you…" sighed Matt. "You annoyed the head in some way and now we're here."

"Well it's quite simple what we have to do!" said Rika as if she had some kind of brilliant idea that IZZY would come up with. "We must break our way through this wall, find that head and then destroy him since he obviously isn't real!"

MEANWHILE!!!

"WHAT DO WE DO WHAT DO WE DO WHAT DO WE DO?!" yelled Takato repeatedly and very fast as he jumped up and down like a frantic little vibratey pen.

Tai was now officially getting slightly irritated. "I'm REALLY starting to get annoyed with you!!" he yelled, turning around. "From now on, I want you to practice being silent, meaning the only thing that I want coming out of your mouth is AIR!"

At this point, Davis, who was being isolated and silent, took a very loud, very obnoxious breath and was heard all-too-well. Then he exhaled if he had just drunk a very large glass of water. Then he did it again, only instead of exhaling he loudly said "AIR!!" as if it was incredibly vital. (Which it is but who's going to correct me? YOU?! HA!!)

Tai got a retarded little vein. "Did you think that was a GOOD idea?" he asked, annoyed.

Davis seemed to suddenly realize that it wasn't. "No," he said quietly.

At this point, all of the leaders took this opportunity to look around to see that they were in some kind of alternate universe with many melting clocks and dead trees and that kind of stuff.

MEANWHILE!!!

TK, Yolei and Jeri were just constantly plunging to their doom. But they had been falling since they had just started plunging so there wasn't any doom for them to be faced with. So they had previously stopped screaming since it was kind of getting boring so they started talking about stuff since they had nothing BETTER to do!

"So…seen any good movies lately?" asked TK.

"No, not really." Yolei replied.

"I haven't!" Jeri replied but then she held up her puppet. "Neither have I but I hope to go and see one soon!"

"I don't think you're be going to seeing one." Said TK. "I mean, we're going to have to hit the ground SOMETIME and since we've been falling for a long time, we're probably going to be squashed like a bunch of little pancakes."

"Um…I suppose so…" said Jeri's psychotic little puppet. (We're going to name her puppet…how about…Square! YAY!! We might change it if we feel creative enough to do so but not at the moment.)

MEANWHILE!!!

"Okay, so we've tried just about everything and so far only tape, televisions, books and a few CDs have appeared…but no door." Said Ken as he turned around only to see Izzy and Henry both repeatedly touching one of the slug thing and watching it retract and stuff to that extent. "Are you guys listening to me?!" demanded Ken.

"Not now, Ken, we're in the middle of conducting a very high-tech experiment and cannot be interrupted!" Izzy replied. Then he turned back to Henry. "Now let's try the salt experiment."

"Okay!" said Henry as he accumulated salt out of nowhere and then sprinkled it on the slug thingy. It only turned into a big fat retarded and evil cow with glowing red eyes. Everyone stared at it for a second but then it started multiplying rapidly like a bunch of little bunnies only they were cows…and evil ones at that.

"Moo," they all said knavishly but they didn't all say it at the EXACT same time so it sounded very freakish because it was kind of like a wave.

"I thought you said that salt makes slugs shrivel up." Henry said to Izzy as the three of them stared at all the evil cows as they closed in like stupid…cows.

"Well, that's what I was led to believe anyway…" Izzy replied.

"Good job you guys," Ken mumbled. "Now we get to be the FIRST to be captured by the stupid cows. And then tied up by the hybrid and lowered into the acid but we'll be saved eventually by some kind of random character from a very random show…"

"Or…" started Izzy as he pulled out his script. "It says here that you're going to turn into Ken the Wizard about now and then make it so that we're not quite as surrounded by evil cows because after all, AlleyCat DID request super heroes in this story…but…" Then he closed the script and looked at Henry and Ken who were eagerly waiting for him to continue. "I don't really want to read TOO far ahead or else we'd spoil everything."

Everyone was just about to kill Izzy but then they decided against it since they didn't really have a reason.

"Why do I have to do EVERYTHING?" whined Ken.

"Because that's what the script says!" Izzy replied. "And I don't think Henry has a super hero form and I'm kind of afraid to turn into mine because I'm worried that I'll be evil and then just cause more problems than are already occurring."

"I do TOO have a super hero form!" Henry argued. "I'm ARCHER!! Remember?!"

"No, Tai got it back and then signed a contract with the writers so now he's not…" started Ken but then he was interrupted because of all the retarded evil cows clearing their throats. "Oh right, them."

Suddenly, all the cows stood up and pulled out their scripts. "It says here that you guys are supposed to be cowering in fear and NOT talking as if we're not here," said one of the cows in an English accent as he put on a monocle and combed his hair back.

"Yes, yes, that's what mine says." Said another cow.

"You guys didn't get the revised version of the script?" Izzy asked. "Oh, you have the YELLOW script, we're working off the BLUE script."

"The blue script?" murmured the cows amongst themselves. So then they sighed and pulled out the blue scripts.

"Ah yes, instead of cowering in fear…Ken transforms and attempts to ward us away and then…wait…can't give away anymore!" said the first cow.

A knavish cow started chuckling like a snooty knave. "You almost gave it away, Clarence!" he said.

Just then, the director (who was wearing a girdle on the OUTSIDE of his pink shirt with a beret on and spandex pants) walked out. "Look babies, you're doing WONDERFUL," he said, speaking with a lisp. "But we gotta pick it up again, get the show moving again! I have a vision! Let's get started again people!!" he added, clapping his hands.

Everyone sighed and agreed and the director ran off the stage. Then the scene started again.

"Okay, Ken, you have to transform now." Henry said.

"It's not my cue yet." Ken replied.

"Maybe we should just do something different just to make it seem less rehearsed." Izzy suggested. "Henry, why don't you do it? I mean, we don't even know what you'll turn into."

"Yeah, how about Henry!" Ken said.

Henry shrugged and decided WHY THE HELL NOT?! He figured he would probably turn into Archer so he decided not to be surprised but he WAS surprised when he…um…DIDN'T turn into Archer and he became… HOWLING WIND!! Kind of like Howling Blaster, only Howling Wind.

"Well, I guess I'm NOT Archer," said Howling Wind, checking out his new wonderful attire.

"No, Henry, you're not." Izzy said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, I'm now going to use my magical powers of WIND to um…blow away the evil cows!" Howling Wind declared. Then he started using his magical powers of wind to…well…I guess to blow away the evil cows…but the cows only seemed half fazed by the wind blowing in their faces. Howling Wind stopped after a few minutes. "I'm sorry. I guess I haven't mastered my powers yet. Either that or I'm not all that powerful."

"I'd go with the not that powerful." Ken remarked.

MEANWHILE!!!

"How long have we been in this room with this creepy chicken?" asked Cody to Matt and Rika. They were both scoffing like Fox since they're both SO good at it but Rika's a knave and Matt isn't. "Oh um…" said Cody since he was feeling a little left out so he decided just to start scoffing as well. So they were all scoffing at each other but none of them even knew WHY they were scoffing in the first place!! HAW HAW HAW!!

Suddenly, that evil frightening chicken that's just kind of been in the middle of the room turned into a gigantic chicken, kind of like that stupid chicken on the bomb game. But this chicken was a LOT more evil and stupider looking. Yes, this gigantic chicken had muscles, veins and teeth, not to mention the fact that these teeth were incredibly sharp and pointy and harmful while dripping with both saliva AND blood! ARGH!! And as a fun little finishing touch, he had a scar going across his eye just like Yamcha! HURRAH!!

"Now that is one messed up chicken." Matt said, pointing to the chicken who was snorted smoke out of his nose. (Actually, it was the two little holes on his beak but oh well.)

"He doesn't scare me at all." Commented Rika. "I am NOT impressed."

The chicken looked a little miffed about this comment so he transformed into a gigantic chicken in a big robot suit with many missiles and laser guns. The three stared at the chicken in the big suit as it loaded all of its guns as it went 'CHA-LOAD!!'

"Now, come on Rika, you have to be scared of this," said Matt. "Look at him, he's a giant veiny pulsating chicken with dripping fangs in a big robot suit and he has JUST loaded all of his guns and all of his missiles are pointing right at us."

"Well, I'm not REALLY scared, I would just be more comfortable if he wasn't there." Rika replied.

"I don't know about you guys but I'm all for running and screaming while yelling about my life and who I'm leaving all my stuff to!" Cody said.

"Sounds like a plan," Matt agreed.

"No!" Rika said knavishly. "I will not run! I will not give up! We must stay and fight! What are you…chicken?!"

"NO BUT I AM!!!" said the retarded chicken in this voice amplifier. Everyone paused and looked at each other. Then everyone started laughing heartily at the joke…except for Cody.

"What?" he asked. "I don't get what's so funny!"

"Right over his head," Matt said, shaking his head. Then they all shrugged and started laughing heartily again. Pretty soon, the chicken was rolling around on the floor in his robot suit laughing uncontrollably. Matt, Cody and Rika looked at each other and quietly slipped away while the stupid chicken was distracted. The chicken suddenly stopped and looked up, watching them tip-toe away like fools.

"COME BACK!!" he yelled in the voice amplifier as if they were actually going to listen to him.

"WAIT!!" yelled Rika. Cody and Matt groaned and turned around and looked at Rika who was standing there looking all...PROUD or whatever. "I STILL refuse to run! We must stand and fight and never give up!" Then she glared at her cue cards. "And we have to…" She squinted to see them and then put her glasses on, read it over a few times, nodded and put her glasses back in her pocket. "And we have to transform into our super heroes and defeat that giant chicken in a robot suit!!"

"What made you randomly bring up super heroes?" asked Cody.

"It's what the cue card says." Rika said, pointing to the cue card.

"Okay fine, you go Rika since you're the new girl." Said Matt. Rika thought for a minute.

"But I'm Poiso Man." She grumbled.

"No you're not, Davis signed a contract." Cody said. "You're something else…I don't know what."

"Oh." Rika said.

"Didn't you want to be Foam Girl or something?" asked Matt.

"Shut up." said Rika stupidly. Then she did a retarded little transformation that looked very similar to what she did when she does 'Digi-Modify' but when she sliced the card through she um…didn't Digi-Modify something she just kind of turned into her super hero form type thingy. "I am…Ice Queen!" Rika declared as she struck some kind of interpretive pose as a dramatic icer-erific scene showed behind her.

"I wish my transformation was as cool as that." Whined Cody, thinking about how he would jump behind a bush and struggle with the zipper on the back of his costume.

MEANWHILE!!!

Tai seemed to have developed this new SUPER AWARENESS ability so that he knew whenever Takato would open his mouth to say something. So whenever Takato tried to add something to the conversation, Tai would turn around and yell 'AIR!!!' and then all Takato would do was take a breath. And of course Davis took his famous obnoxious and loud breath that EVERYBODY in the whole world could hear.

"Ew, I just stepped on another melting clock!" whined Davis as he looked at the bottom of his shoe as the melty clock liquid stuff started falling off of it.

"Again?" Tai asked. "Can't you just watch where you're going?" Davis shook his head as he took of his shoe and began scraping off clock liquid crap off of it.

Takato opened his mouth. Tai whirled around. "AIR!!" he yelled.

Davis took another deep breath.

"Must you do that every single time?" Tai asked.

"Yes." Davis answered plainly. Suddenly, a big psychotic cow bent on destroying the world because of a horrible accident that happened to him when he was just a furling appeared. Sadly, he fell into a pit of acid and half of his face was burned off. So he is now known as…TWO FACE THE COW!!!

"TWO FACE THE COW!!!" yelled Tai, Davis and Takato. "NOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

"MOOWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!" laughed Two Face the Cow evilly like a big fat disfigured cow.

"We must destroy Two Face the Cow!!" yelled Davis.

"But he's just a victim of a horrible accident and only wants his revenge but has no rational thought." Takato said. But then he looked at Tai and winced.

"Don't worry, I choose not to pester you for no reason anymore." Said Tai with a shrug.

"Okay." Said Takato.

"Are you guys going to sit back as I destroy you or are you going to DO something about it?!" demanded Two Face the Cow. The three leaders pondered for a minute, looked at each other and started nodding as if Two Face the Cow had just given them a brilliant idea. (which he did)

"We can transform!!" declared Davis. He was just about to start when Tai stopped him.

"WAIT!!" he yelled. "Since the even newer Digidestined are here, does that mean that we're going to turn into the stupid Goggles Gang?!"

"No, we signed a contract." Davis pointed out.

"Oh right." Said Tai with a sigh of relief. "What do you think Takato will turn into?"

"I hope I don't stay Goggles Gang #3." Takato remarked.

"FOAM!!!" yelled Two Face the Cow but everyone ignored him.

"Why don't you transform and destroy Two Face the Cow just to see what happens?" suggested Davis.

"Um…okay." Said Takato with a shrug. Then he did some kind of special little transformation that was very long and excruciating so we're not going to describe it even though we described Rika's for some strange and unknown reason. "I am now…ROCK MAN!!!"

"Rock Man?" Tai, Davis AND Two Face the Cow all said at the same time. Rock Man paused.

"Yes," he said in the 'DUH!!' tone. "I am Rock Man, meaning I have the power to move rocks and the earth and cause earthquakes and other fun things like that."

"Oh." Said Tai. "I suppose that that's decent…it's just the name that kind of caught me off guard…the stupidity of it I mean."

"_I _didn't write the script!" Rock Man said angrily.

MEANWHILE!!!

TK, Yolei and Jeri were all STILL plunging to their doom. They had set up a little tea set on a table with a white and red checkered tablecloth. They were discussing politics while randomly taking a sip of tea, laughing like snooty English guys and then repeating.

Suddenly, TK put his cup down on the table and sighed. "You know, we're eventually going to come to the end of this bottomless pit…" he commented.

"TK's right," said Yolei. "Maybe we should do something about it."

"I think we should all work together!" said Square.

"What do you think we should do, SQUARE?!" demanded Jeri. "We're falling down a hole and there's nothing to grab onto! It reminds me of when I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory only we're plunging downwards and they were going up."

Everyone stopped and pondered.

"I've got it!" said TK as a light bulb appeared above his head. "We could transform into super heroes! I can fly, you can fly, right Yolei?" Yolei nodded. TK turned to Jeri. "Can you fly? Do you even have a super hero form?"

"Well YAH," said Jeri. "But I just don't know what it is yet. Maybe I should try transforming so I don't find out later that I can't fly and get squashed like a little pancake."

"How smart," said Yolei.

Then Jeri did her transformation and paused when she found that she was still plunging. Then she looked like she was attempting to fly, but only succeeded in not only NOT flying but looking constipated.

"Okay, I can't fly." She said. Then she looked at her attire. "It looks as though I'm…well…Underwater Girl!!"

TK and Yolei got retarded little drops.

"I guess I can't really do anything helpful," Underwater Girl continued. "Maybe I just control the water." Suddenly, a big block of water appeared out of nowhere. "But that doesn't really help, does it?"

"No, it doesn't." TK said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"That's unfortunate." Sighed Yolei.

They paused.

TK stared at his watch.

They paused some more.

"So…I've been meaning to ask you, TK," started Yolei. "Why is it that your hat hasn't flown off your head by now?"

TK stared at Yolei for a second.

MEANWHILE!!!

"BEHIND YOU HARRY!!!" yelled Black Plague, pointing to Ken the Wizard. Ken the Wizard turned around and then whaked some psychotic cow that was charging at him with his little staff thingy. When the cow had perished, Ken the Wizard stomped over to Black Plague.

"I may be a wizard but I'm NOT Harry Potter!" he yelled. "So if you call me that again then I'll have to do something REALLY REALLY BAD!!!"

"I'm scared." Black Plague said sarcastically. "I wish I had the power to just magically make a stupid looking lightning bolt scar appear on your forehead JUST so I can laugh at you."

"Wind…powers…not…working…must…talk…like…this…" said Howling Wind as he used his feeble wind powers at the cows as they did their hair and other retarded things like that.

"Wow, Henry, you sure were gypped." Said Black Plague almost with a laugh in his voice. "Unlike me of course." Then his hidden little laugh turned into a cruel chuckle at Henry's expense. And at this point, a cow charged through him, hit the wall and exploded. Black Plague turned to Ken the Wizard. "You wouldn't BELIEVE how annoying this gets." He said. "I mean, you'd think that by now they'd learn."

Ken the Wizard looked at the charred wall where all the previous cows had exploded. "Um…" he said.

"I think there's something about my turned back that just intrigues them to the extent in which they all have to run through me." Black Plague continued. "There's a group of cows who have been planning for the last fifteen minutes. And how come they decide not to run through you, Harry?"

"Henry," Howling Wind said.

"No, I was talking to Harry Potter." Said Black Plague, pointing to Ken the Wizard.

"I am NOT Harry Potter!!" Ken the Wizard yelled. Suddenly, they heard a loud 'MOO!!' from the other side of the room as they clapped their hooves together. Then about twelve cows charged at Black Plague, obviously passed right through him and exploded on impact of the wall.

Black Plague paused for a second, staring at the steaming heap of charred cow. Then he looked back at Ken the Wizard and Howling Wind. "Like I was saying…"

MEANWHILE!!!

"ICE BLAST!!" yelled Ice Queen as she did some kind of dramatic ice projectile.

Telekinesis leaned over to Lightning Person who was still struggling to get his zipper un-caught from his shirt. "Does she find it extremely vital to SAY her moves?" he asked.

"I don't know but could I have a little help here?" Lightning Person asked, pointing to the zipper.

"Okay, here I go, practically doubled over so I can reach your zipper." Said Telekinesis as he leaned over and started UN GETTING CAUGHT Lighting Person's zipper. "You know, I don't think you can get this un caught without ripping your little dress."

"But I don't want…wait, you're saying I wear a dress?!" Lighting Person demanded. "I do NOT wear a dress! It's simply a LONG SHIRT!!"

"Yeah, sure, you say long shirt but ask anyone and they'll say dress." Telekinesis replied. There was some more dramatic fighting in the background with Ice Queen and the evil psychotic chicken in the robot suit. "She's pretty good." He remarked.

"Yeah, she apparently knows what she's doing," Lightning Person said as he continuously yanked at the zipper. "Stupid zipper…"

"She obviously doesn't need us," Telekinesis continued.

"Ha! I got it!" said Lightning Person as he finished zippering up his cute little bullet costume. Just then, Ice Queen ran over.

"Some help you boys are!" she said knavishly. "I'm out there fighting that chicken all by myself and all you can do is stand there?! You call yourselves super heroes!! I have half the mind to---" But she was interrupted because the stupid chicken in the robot suit had enclosed her in one of his big stupid robot hands while her back was turned.

"Maybe she does need our help." Said Lightning Person.

"But she just made fun of us." Telekinesis pointed out. Lightning Person nodded as they two of them just watched as Ice Queen got stretched, squashed and flattened over and over and over and over and over and a few more times.

MEANWHILE!!!

"ROAR!! You can not beat my two-faced powers!!" yelled Two Face the Cow. "For I have the powers of my horribly deformed face AND the powers of my not-so-horribly deformed face!!"

There was a very short awkward pause. Then, all three goggles wearing leaders burst out laughing.

"WHAT?!" demanded Two Face the Cow.

"That… was the STUPIDEST…thing I have ever heard in my whole life!!" laughed Archer. "I hope you didn't spend time on that!!"

"I DID!!" yelled Two Face the Cow. "I spent a VERY VERY long time!!"

"Well, either you should spend LESS time thinking of these…or MORE time…" admitted Poiso Man. 

"HEY!!" yelled Two Face the Cow as he began throwing a full fledged temper tantrum complete with stomping, yelling, screaming and flailing of the arms like a fool. "I SPENT A REALLY LONG TIME ON THAT AND YOU JUST MADE FUN OF ME!!"

"Somebody shut him up. He SERIOUSLY needs to be put out of his… and OUR misery…" said Rock Man.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" cried Two Face the Cow. He was soon silenced with an arrow, poisonous gas and many rocks tossed at him. Unfortunately, Two Face the Cow did NOT perish but he did fall through a trap door after being HORRIBLY deformed even more.

Rock Man did a little cheer like he did in the video game. (Which is actually not really HIS but the Rock Man who is actually MEGA Man but we just stole his name cause we're silly.) His voice sounded more girly and stupid than usually and it was all computery.

Poiso Man and Archer just kinda…BACKED AWAY!!!!!!!!!

MEANWHILE!!!

Yolei and Takeblah finally decided to transform into their super hero forms who CAN fly, Womansuper and Gokeru and the three of them (Jeri's there) safely flew to safety.

Unfortunately, they were attacked by pigs and horses who tied them to a stake and lit fire around them while chanting, wearing tribal make-up and dancing like crazy little farm animals.

"Just ONCE…I'd like to come to a farm that doesn't have evil farm animals bent on killing us!!" yelled Underwater Girl (AKA Jeri).

Gokeru and Womansuper turned Underwater Girl and stared at her.

"YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE!!!" they yelled at the SAME TIME!!!!!

"You be HEAPUM big meal for Chief Horseumpigum!!" said some really buff horse wearing a grass skirt.

"NEVER!!" yelled Gokeru as he expanded to about twelve times his original size (like Dragon Ball Z characters {and their spoofs} do), broke the ropes and flew away. A couple of pigs threw a few rocks at him and he soon fell and was REcaptured. 

Then, abruptly, Chief Horseumpigum walked out. He was a really big, fat half horse, half pig (his left side was a pig and his right side was a horse) wearing a grass skirt and his stomach overflowed over the strap so much that it practically touched the ground.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Okay, now that all of those cows have blown themselves up…" started Black Plague but suddenly the door swung open and there was about a zillion chickens standing there.

"NOT SO FAST!!!" they all yelled. A chicken that was bigger than the rest with a horribly deformed face stepped forward.

"I AM TWO FACE THE CHICKEN!!!" yelled the retarded chicken. "I am Two Face the Cow's twin brother."

"Who the hell is Two Face the Cow?" demanded Ken the Wizard.

"Oh right, that's a DIFFERENT group…" said Two Face the Chicken, scratching his chin knavishly. "Well anyway, they told me to come here because it wouldn't be as hard. They said where Two Face the Cow was going would be harder since they're the leaders and since Two Face the Cow is stronger than I am, we decided that he should go and I'll take on the smart ones who can't be all that powerful because you're just dorks."

"Actually I just copied…" started Howling Wind.

"WHAT?!" yelled Ken the Wizard and Black Plague. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING A DORK?!"

"Well, you answered the question correctly so you're obviously smart and the smart kids are usually puny and unpowerful and beaten easily." Two Face the Chicken said.

"FOAM!!!!" yelled Black Plague and Ken the Wizard. "YOU WILL PERISH TWO FACE THE CHICKEN!!!"

Two Face the Chicken turned to the other chickens. "Don't worry guys, it's only a show, they're all talk." He said. "All bark and no bite, if you know what I mean!!" All of the chickens nodded and raised their beer glasses and laughed diabolically at Ken the Wizard and Black Plague.

Ken the Wizard and Black Plague were JUST about to explode when they looked at each other and then did a little laugh that said 'I'm really, really annoyed but I'm not going to show it…are you?'

Then they laughed again that meant, 'No, let's destroy that chicken!'

(They have a laugh that means that ya know)

Then Howling Wind did a random little laugh so that he'd feel included. Ken the Wizard leaned over to Black Plague. "What do you think he meant by the laugh that means 'My wife is very old and ugly'?" Black Plague shrugged.

"Okay look," said Black Plague to Two Face the Chicken. "Your calculations were obviously correct because, yes, we are dorks but you're calculations in thinking that we are unpowerful are just SO incredibly incorrect that I think I'm just going to have to kill you!"

"Sure sure!" said Two Face the Chicken knavishly.

"Tell you what," said Ken the Wizard, holding up his little staff thing. "I'll only use this ordinary stick that is NOT the source of all my magic to defend myself and defeat you."

"And I will beat you not only NOT using my arms, but I'll close my eyes!!" Black Plague said. "And…wow! I won't even use ANY defensive strategy at all! In fact, I'll let you have the first hit. Wait, don't just hit me, run into me at full speed and I'll just stand here and face the wall."

"OKAY!!!" yelled all the chickens as they all charged at Black Plague at full speed, went through him and crashed into the wall and exploded.

"You know, for once I would like to do something." Said Ken the Wizard. "I had this whole thing going where I was only going to use my staff and you took that away from me."

"I don't NEED my minions to defeat you!!" yelled Two Face the Chicken.

"Yay!" said Black Plague. "I can now murder Two Face the Chicken!!"

"Not if I murder him first!!" yelled Ken the Wizard.

"I'm faster that you!"

"No you're not!! _I _have projectile moves!!"

"So do I!"

"One wouldn't know!"

"Shut up!"

"No!"

"Well you're stupid and you wear a pointy hat!"

"Well you're stupid and I can see through you!!"

"Well you're Harry Potter!"

"Well…"

At this point, Howling Wind crept up behind Two Face the Chicken, picked him up and snapped his neck in two, killing him of course. Ken the Wizard and Black Plague stopped immediately and looked at Howling Wind who was tossing Two Face the Chicken's limp body aside.

"I wanted to be the one to cause his demise!" whined Black Plague.

"I wanted to do something." Said Howling Wind with a shrug.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Do you have any sort of healing powers?" asked Telekinesis as they watched the chicken in the big robot suit hurl Ice Queen against the wall and she collapsed on the ground in a big heap.

"No." Lightning Person replied. "I can just run really fast. Oh right and I can shoot lightning."

Suddenly, that oh-so retarded chicken in a robot suit seemed to be bored with Ice Queen because she was LONG since unconscious so he turned around with all of his missiles and projectiles aimed at Telekinesis and Lighting Person.

"Oh dear!" they both said at the same time as they ran out of the way JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME!!!!!!

"Here's the plan…" started Lightning Person. "Don't you have some kind of death move that you can just blow him up with or something?"

"NO!!!" Telekinesis yelled. "I am getting sick and tired of people asking me if I have a death move or not!! It was just a rumor!! Now, if you want a death move ask just about everyone else!!"

"Whoa, you don't have to bite my head off!" said Lightning Person, backing away. All of a sudden, Howling Wind (aka Henry who is really not supposed to be here) walked around the corner.

"What are you doing here, Henry?" asked Telekinesis when he saw him come around the corner. "You're not in our group!"

"Yeah I know." Said Howling Wind. "But Izzy and Ken were accusing me of stealing their hairstyle and hair color and Willard's Digimon and Nabiki's cigarettes and various other things so I left because my self esteem couldn't handle it anymore. Besides, they wouldn't stop fighting with each other and it was getting annoying. The one time they stopped fighting, they suddenly ganged up on me and made fun of me."

"And…?" asked Lightning Person.

"So I left…" Howling Wind continued.

"You let yourself be bullied around by Izzy and Ken?" Telekinesis asked with a raised eyebrow. "Not only are they short, dorks and the nicest people you'd ever meet…um…besides that whole thing with the Digimon Emperor but if you're considering now, neither of them would hit someone even if given permission."

"But they were being mean!" whined Howling Wind. All of a sudden, that retarded chicken with the robot suit cleared his throat.

"Wow, I forgot ALL about him!" said Lightning Person, pointing at the chicken. (From now on his name is Yoda.)

"So should we do something?" asked Telekinesis. "I really don't feel like it and I'm kind of on a roll of not doing anything. Henry, why don't you do this?"

"But…um…I'm incredibly unpowerful." Said Howling Wind.

"You can't be more unpowerful than…um…" started Telekinesis as he pulled out his script and thumbed through it. Then he nodded and put it away and turned back to Howling Wind. "You can't be more unpowerful than YODA!!"

"Okay I suppose…" said Howling Wind. "But if you laugh at me than I'll have to use my magical powers of wind on you."

"Powers of wind?" asked Lightning Person.

"Maybe I should just do this." said Telekinesis with a sigh. "Oh by the way, do you have any healing powers by any chance?" He pointed to Ice Queen's steaming heap in the corner.

"I don't think so." Howling Wind replied. He thought for a minute. "Why is it that she's a steaming heap on the floor and you guys don't seem to have a single scratch on you?"

"She didn't want our help." Lighting Person replied.

"And she SAID her moves as if she was some kind of Digimon." Said Telekinesis.

"Oh. My. God." Said Howling Wind, putting his hand over his heart. "You're kidding."

"No, I am so NOT kidding." Telekinesis replied. "She distinctly yelled 'Ice Blast' every single time."

Just then, Yoda shot a missile at them but they all dodged. The missile made the wall explode and standing there was Archer, Poiso Man and Rock Man looking oblivious.

"Well whadda know?" said Poiso Man since he has the most retarded name out of EVERYONE.

"We're out of the melting clock world." Said Archer. Rock Man, well, he didn't really have much to say. He just did his little Rock Manish cheer.

"Do you HAVE to do that?" asked Poiso Man.

"Yes." Said Rock Man as if Poiso Man saying that just permanently damaged his self-esteem.

"Why doesn't EVERYONE just join our little group?!" said Telekinesis, throwing his hands up in the air.

"No, think of it more of you joining OUR group." Said Archer.

"But we were here first." Telekinesis pointed out.

Yoda was getting a little scared now because there was about a zillion people there for him to be up against as opposed to two so he just decided that it would be a good idea if he self distracted, in vain hope that his sacrifice would be noted among his chicken friends.

It did startle everyone and bury them in wall rafters and ceiling tiles and it WOULD have killed them if they weren't…um…super heroes but it only gravely wounded them all.

"Great, now we're all gravely wounded." Said Lightning Person. Just then, Black Plague and Ken the Wizard ran in.

"We heard the explosion!" yelled Ken the Wizard.

"Shut up!" yelled Black Plague.

"No!"

"Good thing WE weren't in here." Said Black Plague.

"I hope no one else was." Said Ken the Wizard.

"Why is that?"

"Because what if THEY'RE injured?"

"And how would that affect me?"

"I suppose it wouldn't."

"So then why are you bringing it up?"

"Because I thought that maybe you'd care about your friends."

There was a pause.

"Shut up!"

"No!"

There was another pause.

Black Plague looked around. "Sorry Ken, there WERE people in here." He said. "Look, there's an arm. There's probably someone connected to that arm somewhere underneath that piece of wood."

"Do you have any healing powers?" asked Ken the Wizard.

"Do I look like I have healing powers?! I'm a bad guy you moron! Bad guys don't have healing powers! That would just be stupid!"

"Well what if you needed to help your bad guyish friends?"

"Shut up."

"No." Ken the Wizard replied. "Now help me. This person may still be alive. If I had super strength then I'd be able to do it myself but since I don't, I need your help."

"I don't have super strength." Said Black Plague, crossing his arms.

"I know that." Said Ken the Wizard. "That's why we have to work TOGETHER."

"Even if I WANTED to help, I wouldn't." said Black Plague. "Cause I don't care."

"But if you wanted to help then you'd be…"

"Shut up."

"No."

"Oh, just shut up and help us!!" yelled some random person who is gravely wounded and under some rafter. Ken the Wizard and Black Plague paused for a minute, listening to where the voice came from.

"Shut up," said Black Plague.

"NO!" said the person.

"He HAS been listening." Said Black Plague with a nod.

"You are so idiotic." Said Ken the Wizard.

"Shut up."

"No."

"Fine, I'll help you." said Black Plague with a sigh. "But I'm only doing twenty five percent of the work."

"WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Ken the Wizard.

After many strenuous…um…minutes, they got one board off. YAY!! And after that, the rest of the boards came off pretty easily since the less gravely wounded people could help them with the more gravely wounded people!!! HURRAH!!!

"Wow, you guys SURE are gravely wounded!!" said Black Plague. Then he paused and thought for a minute. "I wonder how many people want to kill me right now?"

"I know I'm one of them," said Ken the Wizard.

"Shut up,"

"No."

"Whatever."

"You don't have a weakness, do you?" asked Ken the Wizard.

"Yes I do." Said Black Plague. "EVERYBODY has a weakness! And I'm just going to tell you ALL of mine!"

"Yeah right."

"Shut up,"

"No." Ken the Wizard said. Then he thought for a minute. Then he gazed into his magical little portal that he made. Black Plague looked over Ken the Wizard's shoulder.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"It says here in my magical little note thingys that your weakness is the Ariel Song." Ken the Wizard said.

"So what's your point?" asked Black Plague with a raised eyebrow. "Your weakness is that I could just impale you with something but you don't see me doing that do you?"

"It also says here that you do have magical healing powers."

"I _do_?!" Black Plague said, clapping his hands together. "WEEEEEEEE!! Another power for me! I am so powerful! I can kill you all and then heal you and then kill you all over again! But I'm CERTAINLY not going to heal them! I mean, do you expect me to lift boards AND heal them?! That's way out of my league!" He paused. "Wait, are you SURE that's what it says? Are you sure that's ME and not YOU? Aren't you supposed to have magical healing powers? I mean, I'm a bad guy!"

"Oh wait, no, this was the original outline," said Ken the Wizard. "Back when you still had lightning and the power to make things appear out of nowhere and fly and all that other kind of stuff that got taken away from you. Some of them were taken away from you before you even had them to begin with."

"…Shut up."

"No."

"So do you have any healing powers?"

"No but…DAVIS does though!" said Ken the Wizard but then he paused and stared at his little portal thing. "Oh wait no, that's a smudge. Ah, here it is! Kari! Wait, we already knew that. Aha, TK! Oh, we already knew that too…"

"Ken, SHUT UP!!!"

"NO!!!"

"You're not very good at this!" said Black Plague. "We've been arguing for **like **two pages!!"

"And whose fault is that?!"

"Yours! Duh!"

All of a sudden, a parade came out of nowhere. Actually, it wasn't a parade. It was Gokeru, Underwater Girl and Womansuper followed by a bunch of pigs and horses.

"Guess what you guys?!" said Gokeru. "We found these natives who are just as unhappy about the cows and chickens as we are and they agreed to join forces with us!"

"TK!!" said Ken the Wizard. "You have magically little beans that provide healing…um…ointments…so why don't you heal them all? They're all gravely wounded."

"Okay!" said Gokeru, pulling out a little bag and passing out the Senzu Beans. It took much effort by random pigs and horses to restrain all of the formally gravely wounded people from killing Black Plague.

"Now we're all together again!" said Ken the Wizard happily.

"Shut up."

"No."

(From now on, I'm just going to write their normal names instead of writing super hero names because it's obnoxious. Just ASSUME they're still super heroes.)

All of a sudden, a bunch of evil cows and chickens and hybrids came out of nowhere.

"Just when you think they're all dead." Said Yolei.

"They must have reproduced from last time." said Takato.

"You weren't even there!" yelled Tai.

"But I read it." Takato replied.

"I didn't need to be attacked by cows and chickens to show my greatness, I live that every day." Said Rika knavishly.

"Shut up!" said Izzy.

"No!" said Ken. Then he paused. "Wait…I didn't say anything!"

"I wasn't even talking to you!" yelled Izzy. "You moron!"

"I just ASSUMED that you…"

"Shut up!"

"Make me!"

"Make me?" Izzy said, confused. "You're supposed to say no!"

"Um…could we maybe re-enter later when you guys aren't in the middle of something?" asked Two Face the Hybrid.

"No, you can fight with these pigs and horses while we straighten this whole thing out." Said no one in particular. So the cows and chickens and horses and pigs went off into the background and fought.

Then everyone besides Izzy, Ken and Matt went off to join the fight.

"Why aren't we joining the fight?" asked Izzy.

"Because I never do anything…neither do you Izzy." said Ken. "So we might as well not be over there. What's your excuse Matt?"

"Well, I ALWAYS do EVERYTHING so I figured that I won't have to do anything this time."

"Well anyway, I have a plan to make Izzy turn back into regular ol' Izzy so we don't have to worry about him." Said Ken.

"Shut up Ken!"

"No!"

"You can't get me to turn back! When I'm my normal self, I can't make fun of you and there's not fun in that! When I'm like this, I feel powerful and I can do whatever I want!"

"Well Matt, you have to do something to get Izzy to turn back." Said Ken, ignoring Izzy.

"Oh I don't mind him," said Matt. "He's been mildly good in this story. Well, to me anyway. If he was being obnoxious to ME then I'd probably help you but…no."

"GOOD?!" yelled Izzy. "I feel offended! I must be BAD!! I am a BAD GUY!! There's nothing GOOD about BAD guys!! I was too busy making fun of Ken that I forgot all about you, Matt! I'm so sorry!!"

"Oh, don't worry about it." Said Matt.

"No, I feel bad." Said Izzy. "Please, let me make fun of you!"

"No, it's quite all right." Said Matt. Then he turned to Ken. "So what's your idea?"

"Well it's…" started Ken but then he paused. "Here, I'll just whisper it to you." Then he started whispering his devious little plan in Matt's ear. (What, are WE supposed to come up with Ken's idea?! GEEZUMS!!)

"Oh a secret." Said Izzy, crossing his arms. "I can take a hint."

TEN MINUTES LATER!!!!!!!!

"Wow, I can't believe you guys actually did it." Said Izzy, who was no longer Black Plague. "And I really, really, REALLY appreciate it."

"Yeah right."

"Shut up!"

"No!" Ken paused. "Wait, you can't do that to me anymore! You are now wimpy again!"

"I am not!!" yelled Izzy. Just then, all the Digidestined people walked over looking triumphant.

"We did it!" they said. Then everyone chuckled warmly as a black circle engulfed them.

"Wait, wait, wait, WAIT!!" said Matt. "That's it?! It's OVER?! What happened?! I missed something! I mean, I spent all that time getting Izzy back to normal and it's over?! I was hardly in that thing! Practically half the story was just Ken and Izzy fighting and ninety-nine percent of the dialogue was Izzy saying 'Shut up' and Ken saying 'No'!"

"Look on the bright side you weren't shot with an arrow in this story." said Tai. Matt thought for a minute.

"No I wasn't." he said.

Then they all chuckled warmly again as the black circle engulfed them AGAIN.


End file.
